So I’m driving to work this morning and about half way there, I start to have a panic attack. NOT GOOD. My eyes went blurry, my throat and mouth went dry; I tensed up. I am so sick of feeling like this. I’ve had just about enough.
Luckily, I had my calm and reassure spray in my purse and I pulled it out at the next red light.
To tell you the truth, I haven’t been doing all that well with these panic attacks and my anxiety in general. It’s been a last few weeks of stress and I am tired. I honestly feel like I’ve been through a war. I watched a movie on the Second World War last night and I felt like I could relate to how those men felt after all that fighting: tired, worn out, stressed, emotional, aching all over and just wishing you could just go home and lie in a warm bed.
Just the thought of the commute home is making me a little antsy. Sometimes I just want to lie on the floor and just lay there. Let the feeling take me over and wrack my body with whatever it is that it’s going to do. It’s almost as if I am in the eye of the storm and I’m just waiting, tense and wound up for the storm to hit again.
My body is tired and my mind is too. I just want some type of relief from feeling like this.
Today, I feel like I’m just crouched down, arms around my knees feeling the wetness of the paper bag close in around me and I have no strength to fight it. Not today. Not today.
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